December 2017
          1 2
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
10 11 12 13 14 15 16
17 18 19 20 21 22 23
24 25 26 27 28 29 30
31


on 'enabling' abuse:


icon: "garrulous(a photo of my lips with the skin greyed out and the lips overlaid with a green and blue fractal pattern)"

Most people don't REALLY have a choice about enabling because you have to 1) realize it is happening and 2) have enough resources to change it and 3) realize you CAN change it in order to actually have a choice. None of these things are easy in a world that pretends love = self-sacrifice! It's not just your own preconception that has to change, you have to manage to throw off the expectations of the entire world. It's a lot.

People are forced into enabling. It's something to avoid when you can, but in my mind it is not at all something to feel guilty about.

back to top

Comments
anrui_ichido ══╣╠══
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
*nodnod* it is easier to have empathy for the one you know, but it's important to have it for all people.
ragnarok_08 ══╣Original ★ impending dusk╠══
Thank you so much for saying this.
belenen ══╣comfort╠══
<3
callmebee ══╣╠══
This is really very validating for me. I've been doing a lot of thinking on the subject as my marriage ends, and it invoked a lot of feelings when I read it. They're kind of tangled right now, but I'll try to share them when they get untangled.

Thanks for saying this. It's true.
belenen ══╣comfort╠══
*offers hugs* I am glad this felt validating for you <3
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.