November 2017
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qualities from each of my friends I'd use to build my ideal friend / what I lack in friendships


icon: "distance (two hands (from a brown person and a white person) just barely apart, facing each other palm to palm)"

prompt from webgirluk: Imagine a new friend who was to become in your life and the person had one quality from each person in your core circle of friendships all rolled into one new person? What one quality would you choose from each person?

Topaz' self-awareness & cuddle skills/style
shioneh's skills at asking meaningful questions
hardigrin's ability to give me new perspectives
secret_keep's unedited openness
Allison's passionate, analytical love of art
Sydney's sincere connection with nature
kmiotutsie's outgoing yet take-no-shit attitude
sandracaprice's determined thoroughness
morwen_uial's perception of magic in everything
call_me_katya's critical, deliberate thinking
Cass' thoughtful generosity
volamonster's method of valuing people
chillychilly22's matter-of-fact assertiveness
tikva's habit of humorous phrasing

Prompt from webgirluk: Even though you seem to have a lot of rich friendships, is there one quality none can really bring you that makes you feel at times sad or something missing in connection needs, or can this be explained in a different way?

Not really any quality missing, but I am missing something in the sense that most of my friends have one situation or another that makes them mostly unavailable. Most of my friends have depression and/or anxiety and/or chronic pain and/or ADD, and/or they live far away, and/or they're busy with work and big life events like moving (4 people) or getting married (2 people, not to each other). I miiiight have one local friend whose life is not in a giant upheaval, but until a month ago it was, and it may be still. I don't lack in wonderful people in my life but I do lack the ability to actually have the company of wonderful people (with two exceptions, thankfully). I'd really love to be able to just make plans with friends and have them happen, but that hasn't been true in my life for years.

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Comments
webgirluk ══╣╠══
It was really interesting to see your list and the types of things that made it :-)

I hear you on having wonderful people in your life but not necessarily the company and to a extent, this is the same for me beyond my one yearly trip away to where I used to live where I catch up with a few in one go.
belenen ══╣vivacious╠══
thanks! I liked answering this one and thinking about the things within each friend that were mostly unique to them (because a good number of them have similar qualities which I value greatly).

So, how come you live in the new space? did you move for work?
webgirluk ══╣╠══
I moved away from the area where I had friends to live back in the area I grew up with, the bio family area. I now houseshare with my sister. In truth, at the time, I didn't want to move, really as I had a settled job there, friends there, a self created family there and my radio show. However, the person/my ex who I was in a houseshare with there moved on (found a relationship) and I my wages didn't bring in enough money to live on my own, I needed someone closer around me to live with and share a bit of a life with so I moved back here and into the house with my bio sister, where I've been ever since.
zimtkeks ══╣╠══
It is so disappointing to not be able to spend time with friends as much as one wants and needs, right? Of course we're all grown-ups and leading our different lives and it's perfectly understandable, but it's still tough. :-/
belenen ══╣dreamy╠══
It is understandable but still difficult, exactly!
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.