November 2017
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unintentional haitus? oops.


icon: "overwhelmed (the character Keenan from "Playing By Heart," with hands over their face covering their eyes and head tilted back)"

Hi friends!

I've gotten terribly behind and I miss all of you. I was unfriended by a few people, one of whom I really cared about. I don't think it was the content of the stuff I did post so much as the lack of other posts and comments on people's journals, because it's probably been at least two months since I was really keeping up. When I was working at starbux, I had no energy for anything because it took so much work to be social AND on my feet for many hours AND parsing sound constantly. I just watched netflix with my spare time, or did necessary chores or watched netflix w Topaz. My new job is amazing and I feel accomplished yet not drained at the end of the day, but it does take 52-60 hours a week including driving and time for lunch (I take a 30 min lunch). And I haven't worked 40 hours a week in like 10 years, haven't driven 10-15 hours a week in years also. So I'm still adjusting to that. It will help once work starts back up again because then I will have a set schedule -- starting in December meant having work broken up by off time since we follow the academic calendar to a certain extent. Once I am definitely working M-F I can pick time to dedicate to LJ and manage to do it.

Solstice was amazing and Xmas was relatively low-stress too, but all the hustle and bustle wore me out and I am glad to have this week to recover. I'm still emotionally exhausted and having stress dreams when I sleep, about things like writing a bunch of papers or getting trapped on the wrong floor in a giant building by someone who intended to put me in the 'playpen' which sounded epic levels of ominous.

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Comments
ghostwriter ══╣pic#126791888╠══
Very sorry you lost a few friends on here. I am glad to hear work is going well still though. I hope it will continue to help you feel more independent and help you to take control of your future.
belenen ══╣artless╠══
Thanks, friend *hearts*
mac_arthur_park ══╣╠══
Sounds like you have had a lot to deal with. I get that (I started a new job Dec 1 and went from restaurant work to being a personal care assistant in a memory care unit in an assisted living home. Talk about major changes!).

I'm glad you get time to regroup and recharge. I hope the new year brings you wonderful things!
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
that is certainly a HUGE change!

thanks for the well-wishes! so far it's a very mixed bag.
redbird ══╣bay bridges╠══
Hello again.

I really don't grok the reasoning of "this person doesn't post/comment often/enough/anymore, so I'm unfriending them," because it costs literally nothing to have someone on my friendslist. It may take a bit of time or executive function to decide whether to add someone, or what filters to put them in, but once someone is there, it's removing them that takes a decision.

Yes, my friendslist is full of people who have left LJ altogether, extremely dusty accounts in the personas of no-longer-functioning space probes, and a few people who have died (there is no way I am ever taking roadnotes off my friendslist), but I don't see why this would be a problem.

When I say "I don't grok this," I don't mean "there's something wrong with these people." What they're doing works for them.
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
I also have some defunct journals on my friends list, including a friend who died. I just can't bring myself to remove them. But generally I try to keep my flist to people I feel a connection with. I was just taken aback because one of the people who removed me I thought I had a connection with.
redbird ══╣╠══
cactus_rs ══╣Gene Kelly╠══
Congratulations on the new job! I hope it continues to be rewarding and that you can adjust so that non-work things calibrate quickly to this new reality. :D :D :D
belenen ══╣effervescent╠══
thanks!!
kattidya ══╣airballoon╠══
We have missed you as well :3c
It's nice to read that you had a relatively good Xmas ^_^

⭐️👧
belenen ══╣giving╠══
aww, thanks!
aubkabob ══╣╠══
It's difficult to devote emotional and mental time to journal-ing when you're physically exhausted - not to mention the emotional and mental energy it takes to work a lot and drive a lot. It's good to take You Time to recuperate.
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
It is difficult. I'm trying to push myself right now though because it's really important to me.
ragnarok_08 ══╣Original ★ dethorned roses╠══
Congrats on the new job!!!

Sounds like you've been dealing with a lot, and I'm sorry that you've lost a few friends here.

I hope that the new year brings you so many good things ♥
belenen ══╣artless╠══
thanks!! I appreciate the empathy and well-wishes *hearts*
wanderipity ══╣╠══
It sucks being deleted during an unintentional hiatus. I know the feeling.

I understand that life gets in the way and sometimes we need to focus on our lives outside of Livejournal.

Your work schedule sounds like me before I went back to school again.

Glad you're OK!
belenen ══╣progressing╠══
*nods* it's been a stretch! I think (and hope) I'm finally getting used to it. Thanks!
colesdragon ══╣╠══

Welcome back! Glad the new job is going well so far. I hope it keeps up :)

callmebee ══╣╠══
I just wanted to say that I'm glad your new job is going so well. I was thinking about you (your journal?) today and how I'm very thankful to have you in my sphere. Haitus or not, I'm always happy when I see a new post from you.
callmebee ══╣╠══
belenen ══╣╠══
belenen ══╣╠══
fairytaleguise ══╣╠══
It's wonderful to hear that you're finding your new job satisfying. It is a huge adjustment though, getting into a new job, especially after not working those kind of hours for a while. I'm glad you were able to have some time to rest also.
belenen ══╣progressing╠══
Yeah, it's been difficult! I'm getting on though, grateful to have such a great workplace.
kiwi ══╣╠══
I'm sorry you were unfriended by a few people.

I totally understand the exhaustion of transition and all that jazz. I moreso understand the commute situation. :)

Looking forward to hearing more about Solstice and Xmas if you choose to post about that.
belenen ══╣eccentric╠══
I've thought about this comment about 20 times since first reading it! and have been wanting to post about Solstice and Xmas but have just stayed behind on everything *look of chagrin* But I appreciate you saying so! it made my day when I saw it and several times after as I remembered it.
xxmadsenxx ══╣╠══

I'm glad your new job is going so well!


I'm terribly behind on LJ too. It's so easy to get behind, especially during the holidays. Happy New Year!

belenen ══╣effervescent╠══
thanks! and happy new year to you too!
webgirluk ══╣pic#124969441╠══
I hear you over the adjustment of getting used to full time work and a commute, it takes up so much time and isn't easy to adjust. *Hugs*.
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
*hugs back* so true!
kehleyr ══╣╠══
Aw I'm sorry you've been having stress dreams... I hope you've had better dreams now!
belenen ══╣dreamy╠══
thank you! I have had some better ones lately, I'm glad to say.
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.