icon: "disassociative (a digital painting of a stylized person in profile with wide open screaming mouth and arms up with palms spread wide. Head and hands flow into strands like blood vessels)"
Latest email from Evelyn had the mildest pushback and my immediate urge (which I resisted, for the most part) was to throw all my needs out the window and be like "nevermind I don't need anything I just want to be with you let's pretend everything is rainbows and I'm a superhuman who never feels pain and can give endlessly without replenishing" god I fucking hate that. I also hate that I can't stop thinking about this. Arrrgghhh what is wrong with me. STOP GETTING YOUR HOPES UP, SELF.
