December 2017
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work schedule / ADHD vs 40 hours of intense work focus / exercise / lj friends


icon: "ADD-PI (two electromicroscope photos of crystallized acetylcholine, overlaid & warped in several ways)"

My new schedule is so much better for my brain that it boggles my mind. Two long days followed by three short is good in both cases because feeling like I always have to rush at the end of the day or else get caught in terrible traffic is SO BAD for me. So on my long days I'm more relaxed because the later I leave the better traffic is, and the short days I'm more relaxed because it feels like they're over very quickly. Honestly I'd kinda like to stretch the difference more but I don't wanna get there any earlier and I don't like being there alone at night.

I'm adjusting to the reality that I am never going to do much that is productive after work. I keep thinking that I'm going to "get used to" 40 hours a week and start being able to do things in the evenings but maintaining focus on detailed work for so many hours is not going to get less draining, and I'm not willing to increase my ADHD meds more. I have to face it: I'm only going to be a person on the weekends.

[exercise]So I might as well spend some unperson time on developing my muscles and strengthening my heart and lungs. I may get a membership to my work's pool and try swimming on 2 of my short days, because that would decrease my deadline stress and increase my activity, and I don't think it would really take away from my life. But first, I have to find a comfortable bathing suit, which is a nearly impossible task since it hurts to smash my boobs or wear a halter top but I really need a one-piece because I can not stand for my bottom to fold down and 2-pieces all do that or are horrendously uncomfortable to put on/take off (all that I have found). In the meantime I brought my exercise machine upstairs and put it in front of my desk, so that I can use it while watching shows, which I do for at least 2 hours every time I have an evening at home. I've only had one evening at home since I did that but it was effective at keeping me moving! I really want some sort of stethoscope so I can more easily tell when my heart rate is elevated. From what I read, the best way to strengthen your heart is to do exercise that is not steady, but instead raises your heart rate and then rests, then repeats. I have this bad habit of holding my breath to try and hear my heartbeat when I take my pulse -- so silly and counterproductive but just habit!

I started a friendzy post but need more participants! if you have an active flist, please do share a link, or alternatively, recommend me some of your friends who you think I would get along with. or both!

link: https://belenen.livejournal.com/693011.html
pretty share:


LJ has become such a ghost town on the English-writing journals since the server move and new TOS, which I can totally understand but I tried to move and I just can't. I'd have to be forced out.

Currently working on a post about sex as it relates to my identity and relationships, for my and Anika's next shared prompt. It's gonna be long!

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Comments
webgirluk ══╣╠══
I understand the struggle to be productive after work and only feeling like you're living life at the weekends now. It's hard. I'm only working 20 hours right now with a 12 minute commute each way so I sure can't begin to imagine how hard it must be for you at the moment as I've been struggling with it, too. Even less hours for me and less of a commute makes me drained and not able to do a lot away from work during the week. I like how you're able to juggle swimming with your work place :-)

I'm glad you stayed here and I much prefer LJ. It's my online home and I just couldn't be bothered with DW. I'm working on a post at the moment but I'll do a share for your friendzy and include it.
bunnika ══╣bunny: teacher╠══
When I was teaching full time, I was useless in my weekday off-hours. But with teaching, you take home your work a lot, too, so it's not like I got that much off-time. I don't know how I did it.

Knowing I have ADHD now explains a lot. I still struggle with how to do things in my "off-hours" now, that is, after Matt gets home from work and can help with the baby, and I'm not 100% full-time parent. Focusing on anything is so hard. I wish I could get medicated for this, and I want to discuss the possibility now that my heart condition is better controlled on my new meds. Maybe if I lower some of my other psych meds it'll be okay, I don't know.

Are you able to fully disengage from the work mindset and do what you want on the weekends? I feel like that's what would matter the most in this situation. And don't undervalue being able to swim or exercise in some other way after work, that's an accomplishment!
zhelana ══╣╠══
Glad your new schedule is better. I think I forgot to share the friendzy originally, but I've done it now.
cold ══╣pic#127894284╠══
Its nice to read your posts again. I tried to move also but not to be there for good, I just had so many friends move to Dreamwidth I had to go or would never hear from them again. Dreamwidth was so frustrating to use though. I would log in once a week and could only go back like 10 posts and no more on my friends page, so I couldn't even read. I thought what the point and deleted it. I will be staying here. Sad I emailed a friend who went there and said she will never be back on here, but she didn't even reply to my email. Sad how some people take it so strongly like if we are here we are betraying them or something. I have no issue with Russia. Trump isn't exactly a saint either. LJ has always been where I feel safe.
jeune_fleur ══╣╠══
I get the feeling :( I work 45 hours a week and when I try to be productive after work at home I just can't do it :( I live for weekends, holidays and vacation. It's so sad! If only the line of work I did excited me, then I'd be okay I guess, but that's definitely not the case.

I had completely forgotten to share the friendzy! I just did on my journal ♥
lostincandyrain ══╣╠══
I never have figured out how these people who do productive things after work manage. I am just brain-dead after work.

Good luck with the bathing suit hunt!
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.