May 2019
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taking a week hiatus from reading facebook


icon: "ADD-PI (two electromicroscope photos of crystallized acetylcholine, overlaid & warped in several ways)"

So I decided to take a week-long break from facebook and literally less than 10 minutes later I automatically went to load it. I had already completely logged out and told fb to forget my device, so I didn't ruin my intention, but I can already tell that this is going to be both a struggle, and hopefully enlightening.

I don't think my posting to fb makes my life worse in any way, but checking my feed does. I have stripped it down to just good people but it's an ADHD/anxiety trap no matter what -- even when I have JUST scrolled through for an HOUR and then closed it I will open it again without thinking. I just get stuck and I waste my life. Topaz will occasionally get frustrated with me or worried about me because sometimes it's like a compulsion and I have to put my phone in another room to stop looking at fb.

So far (it has been a day and a half) I have realized that I use fb to self-soothe when I am feeling stressed, because it is an effective distraction when there is a lot I haven't seen yet. But it is not at all effective when I have checked it recently, which is most times when I look at it. So I'd say more than half the time I open it and scroll through looking for new content and don't find any but keep looking anyway. It is a really bad first step for coping with stress, because it usually doesn't help yet prevents me from trying something else.

If I can reclaim my time and get more writing done by not reading facebook, then I may restrict myself to only using it when I am at my computer. That way I can still keep up with people occasionally but not get automatically snared. At this point that new rule is looking very likely. The real test will be when I next ride the bus without being able to check facebook.

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belenen ══╣ADD-PI╠══
I have a custom list of non-horrible people which is the only thing I check, so that part is solved for me. The part that gets me sucked in is just the distraction of it. It just hooks me in the brain and I get lost in stuff that mostly does not matter. Memes and animal gifs etc. Not how I want to spend my time, even when the memes are anti-kyriarchy.
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.