August 2019
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taking a week hiatus from reading facebook


icon: "ADD-PI (two electromicroscope photos of crystallized acetylcholine, overlaid & warped in several ways)"

So I decided to take a week-long break from facebook and literally less than 10 minutes later I automatically went to load it. I had already completely logged out and told fb to forget my device, so I didn't ruin my intention, but I can already tell that this is going to be both a struggle, and hopefully enlightening.

I don't think my posting to fb makes my life worse in any way, but checking my feed does. I have stripped it down to just good people but it's an ADHD/anxiety trap no matter what -- even when I have JUST scrolled through for an HOUR and then closed it I will open it again without thinking. I just get stuck and I waste my life. Topaz will occasionally get frustrated with me or worried about me because sometimes it's like a compulsion and I have to put my phone in another room to stop looking at fb.

So far (it has been a day and a half) I have realized that I use fb to self-soothe when I am feeling stressed, because it is an effective distraction when there is a lot I haven't seen yet. But it is not at all effective when I have checked it recently, which is most times when I look at it. So I'd say more than half the time I open it and scroll through looking for new content and don't find any but keep looking anyway. It is a really bad first step for coping with stress, because it usually doesn't help yet prevents me from trying something else.

If I can reclaim my time and get more writing done by not reading facebook, then I may restrict myself to only using it when I am at my computer. That way I can still keep up with people occasionally but not get automatically snared. At this point that new rule is looking very likely. The real test will be when I next ride the bus without being able to check facebook.

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Comments
call_me_katya ══╣╠══
So glad you're taking this break! I've temporarily deleted Facebook in the past and either that or being out all day were the only things that worked for my urges to check it. I'm trialling a blocker which I've set to let me check it before 2 in the afternoon and after 10pm, which means I get plenty of time on it but not the main part of the day, when I should either be out or just doing other things. I got a tablet for Christmas and I'm checking it a little as a workaround [the block is only on my computer] but I've put my tablet charger in a really difficult to get to place. I hope to only really use it when I travel. Or I guess when I'm sick in bed. I do not have a smartphone.

I feel the same way as you though. I was sitting up at my computer constantly, not coming off it for TV shows I really like [which also includes family time and talking to my Mum about the shows]. I'm scrolling through bland, not unpleasant things waiting for another bland thing to be posted. I was on so much I was seeing things be posted in real time. Or... nothing be posted. And when nothing was posted I would become frantically bored and upset. Relaxation days in the house were being taken over by it. I needed to give myself distance and it's working, a little. I hope it helps you!
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.