July 2018
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more on the friendship thing... / trust and passion

First, thanks so much for the replies -- I've never gotten so many thoughtful responses! This new-lj-friends thing is very cool.

More about that movie: I said that I felt Angelina's hurt at Maddie not leaving her comfortable life for her, but really, I felt the disappointment. The Angelina character was hoping that Maddie was like her, not connected to material things, and it hurt to find out that she wasn't.

See, it's not right to try to make someone more like you so that you can connect better. You can either wait and hope that they end up growing more like you, or you can search for someone who's already more like you. You could also change yourself to fit them, but that won't make either of you happy in the long run. While I am waiting on the friends that I have, I'm still looking for that person who's already there.

I think the biggest difference between me and most people I meet is trust. I used to be very closed-off and not trusting of anyone... and it's hard to say what changed me, but now I'm willing to give someone all of my trust the same instant I decide I want to be friends with them. That really scares some people, 'cause it's just so alien -- and they feel that it's a lot of responsibility, too. I forgive fairly easily (except my dad -- I don't know why it's so hard to let go and forgive him), but people don't necessarily believe that either. I've met two people who gave their trust immediately in return, and they are precious to me -- but they live so damn far away and don't keep in touch very well (which is half my fault, I know). I have some faith that there are people who give trust easily, but I know very well how rare they are.

The other difference between me and most people I meet is, simply put, passion. I live like a roller-coaster, and I prefer to keep my feelings on 'high-contrast'. Most people prefer being pretty happy most of the time to being sometimes deliriously happy and sometimes crushingly depressed. I think the highs far outweigh the lows. I can't stand apathy, can't stand grey, can't stand pastel. Be bold, be powerful. Just BE... don't merely exist. Ride that pendulum!

feelings: contemplative
sounds: the Benjamin Gate: "Fall Away"

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Freedom - kiizaw
nicker ══╣Freedom - kiizaw╠══
Believe it or not this was very encouraging to read. Sometimes I feel like one of a kind myself.
belenen ══╣gentle╠══
I'm glad it encouraged you. ;-)
misemifein2 ══╣╠══
Thanks for that and the replies to my comments, I understand better what you mean now
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
you're welcome. ;-)
scourge ══╣stiletto╠══
I'm delighted to see how much you've gotten out of this movie. I like it a lot too. I've been moved by scenes in movies that other people just seemed to pass over with a glassy eye......and as much as i wanted to share what i'd just gained from that same thing.....i feared my poor words would fail me.

I'm glad to see i'm not the only one that sees beyond what is shown them, from time to time. it almost always rekindles my spirits and faith in the world to share in your post. Thank you.
belenen ══╣gentle╠══
it almost always rekindles my spirits and faith in the world to share in your post.
Thank you! -- what a wonderful compliment. ;-)
eternitywaiting ══╣╠══
I'm the same way, with automatic trust...though it's really kicked me in the ass sometimes. I don't know if I'd say I forgive easily though...only if someone apologizes. I can't forgive someone who doesn't ask for it, and that's hard for a lot of people, so I guess you could say I only forgive with a lot of difficulty.

As for finding someone who's like you...that's such a difficult leap to make. Mainly because even if you find someone who's so essentially like you, practically your spiritual mirror image, there WILL be differences. And even if they're minor ones, they'll SEEM major because they exist in someone who otherwise is so much like you. This is me speaking from experience....my husband is more "like" me than anyone I've ever met (but not on the surface....damn, were we ever an unexpected couple when we started dating!) But underneath everything, we hold the same fundamental belief system, the same sense of humor (though I admit to a bit of extended sarcasm) and the same ideal of a relationship...namely putting each other above everything else. But we DO have differences....and those differences cause problems. In an argument the other night, he said to me "You know, to anyone else in the world, this would be the dumbest argument they'd ever heard." And he was right...because it was over something that, to anyone else, wouldn't matter, because they'd be busy fighting over a BIGGER disagreement. But still, I wouldn't sacrifice that similarity for anything. I've lost that before...I've had friends who I was so close to, who were SO much like me, and then they changed (and no, oddly, it was never me who changed...I'm stagnate. Not a good thing, but at least I'm reliably dull.) There is nothing more painful than watching someone you love change into someone you have nothing in common with. Sometimes it pays to find people who are different, and learn to bridge your gaps together...that way you aren't relying on a false sense of security in your "similarities."
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.