Belenen (belenen) wrote,

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more on the friendship thing... / trust and passion

First, thanks so much for the replies -- I've never gotten so many thoughtful responses! This new-lj-friends thing is very cool.

More about that movie: I said that I felt Angelina's hurt at Maddie not leaving her comfortable life for her, but really, I felt the disappointment. The Angelina character was hoping that Maddie was like her, not connected to material things, and it hurt to find out that she wasn't.

See, it's not right to try to make someone more like you so that you can connect better. You can either wait and hope that they end up growing more like you, or you can search for someone who's already more like you. You could also change yourself to fit them, but that won't make either of you happy in the long run. While I am waiting on the friends that I have, I'm still looking for that person who's already there.

I think the biggest difference between me and most people I meet is trust. I used to be very closed-off and not trusting of anyone... and it's hard to say what changed me, but now I'm willing to give someone all of my trust the same instant I decide I want to be friends with them. That really scares some people, 'cause it's just so alien -- and they feel that it's a lot of responsibility, too. I forgive fairly easily (except my dad -- I don't know why it's so hard to let go and forgive him), but people don't necessarily believe that either. I've met two people who gave their trust immediately in return, and they are precious to me -- but they live so damn far away and don't keep in touch very well (which is half my fault, I know). I have some faith that there are people who give trust easily, but I know very well how rare they are.

The other difference between me and most people I meet is, simply put, passion. I live like a roller-coaster, and I prefer to keep my feelings on 'high-contrast'. Most people prefer being pretty happy most of the time to being sometimes deliriously happy and sometimes crushingly depressed. I think the highs far outweigh the lows. I can't stand apathy, can't stand grey, can't stand pastel. Be bold, be powerful. Just BE... don't merely exist. Ride that pendulum!

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